my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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