My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
this is an emotional support booty call
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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