...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
