When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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