stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
