Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
