Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
