I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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