shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
