This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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