But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
God I need to hump something, right now.
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