he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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