I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
