3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
