Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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