Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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