You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
