I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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