It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
