Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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