he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
