I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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