god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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