Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she told me i tasted like america
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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