Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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