clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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