I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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