He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
