Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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