i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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