i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
