my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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