I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
