Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
