we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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