I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
