she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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