Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
