I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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