I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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