I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize