im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
