Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
