Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
