I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I skipped work to stalk him.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
