No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
