I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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