I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize