happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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