Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
