My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize