I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize