THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
