You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
