I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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