i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
