I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
