Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
