You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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