Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
