I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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