i barfeds in our rink
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Be still, my beating vagina.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
