If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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