Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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