Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
