Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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