If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
