Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
