i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
