have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Panties = found
Randomize
