Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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